Yes an eye infection that has plagued me before is back with vengeance! I guess I shall have no option but to put my face to one side and get on with this fabulous column of mine.

So did my last blog in this column make you understand a bit more about me? I hope it did I never did have much of a topic to aim for so I kind of thought I’d be vein and talk about moi (ha-ha).

Some people said it was inspiring to read, I don’t know if they were being honest but hey if that’s true I’m glad it made them feel that way. I guess the test will be If I go to work and see people with overly bronzed noses then I will know for sure if it was a good read or not. Now forgive me if I warble on about stuff and sometimes jump form subject to subject, I’m just letting my mind to the typing! Now on to this month’s column;

Just like Lady Gaga’s song I was “born this way” I cant help what I am, would it be easier to live as a boy…probably yes but to be honest I’d rather live my life how I want and get abuse then to live it in misery just to please society.

It can be a chore slapping on the war paint, teasing the hair to a birds nest and soaking it in gallons of hairspray, don’t blame me for the holes in the ozone layer they cant go wasting the cans of spray that’s been made, just don’t come near me with a cig or it might go up with a bang like Wacko Jacko’s did. I put a lot of effort into my look and even thou it takes time but I’d say it’s still worth it.

I wouldn’t say I’m perfect, I certainly know my flaws for example my nose is very Lady Gaga-ish (I don’t like Gaga’s nose!) and my tan is a little on the orange side but I like being tango’d its better then looking like I should belong on a milk float sitting next to all the other milk bottles in a crate.

Yes I know that maybe someday I will have to put a paper bag over my head when I’m much older but still I’m only 22 and I’m living for the now. For the time being the overly caked face and bum showing dresses shall both stay, however if you do want to call Jenny Frost up for me that’s fine I need a bit of publicity ‘Snog, Marry, Avoid’ here I come!

I think the hardest part of my transition was going out into the real world as a female. That first walk down the street in Wakefield was like walking the green mile. It was scary but I didn’t get much attention which kind of put my mind at ease and made me realise I’m not as ridiculous as I sometimes think. What I see in the mirror is probably very different to what others see me as. Acceptance proves in a way that I’m not such a freak after all.

It took some time to get used to the role change, It wasn’t an over night thing that people might think, It wasn’t a case of boy today girl tomorrow it was a gradual change. I had to get used to makeup and doing my hair most things that girls don’t even have to think too much about doing when they’re growing up it kind of just happens naturally. I look back at old photos and think OMG did I really go out looking like that. Things must have improved because now I get loads of people complementing me asking how I do my hair etc I guess practice makes perfect and after being like this for nearly five years I should hope its perfect.

It’s rather flattering when people say I look good. Although I certainly know my over the top look isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but hopefully it’s their cup of coffee.

Another tough thing was the fact that I had to fight in order to get listened too. Even when I was living as a girl it took nearly three years to actually be given hormones. The waiting list is ridiculous; it even got to a point where they had to move me to a different gender clinic just so I could get seen to by the professional.

The three years of waiting paid off, infact looking back it actually made me much more patient person. I was selfish when I first started my transition; I was like the girl from Willy Wonka demanding everything now! I want this! I want that! I want it now! Making me wait actually made me realize that I could live a life as a girl without the hormones and surgery and still be happy. I became more patient, so when I finally got them it made me appreciate them more. The risk factor is huge you have to be careful when taking hormones, they ask you to sign a consent form stating you cant sue them or anyone if you get a blood clot or have a heart attack or just basically…die.

To me all the risks are worth it, they are helping me become softer looking. My boobs are growing amazingly if any of you have noticed? They are the first thing I look at in the morning just to see if they have grown even more over night.

I don’t think people know much about hormones. They seem to presume you will be passable as a woman when you take them, when in reality they won’t actually make you a woman they will just help feminize you. They won’t make my nose smaller, or my jaw line softer but still I’m happy with the result so far.

Yes as stated before and just like my YouTube vblogs I babble on in the columns too. I’ve figured that out but I just like to say what’s on my mind even if it does sound like my batteries are dying and dribble is just coming out of my mouth to clear a blockage. I’m just being me, real, goofy, down to earth, and honest.

So far I’ve made no big mistakes in my life when it comes to my transition. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. I’m glad I stood up to make that change to become the person I am today.

I’ve realised that it doesn’t matter how much makeup, surgery, hormones or whatever else I do to myself I’m just glad I’ve made it this far and can say I’ve had a happy time throughout.

So for all the other girls in pink dresses out there, if you’re happy that’s all that matters, whether you pass as woman or not, as long as you’re living your life how you want to. Who’s right is it to say you don’t look like a woman? What exactly is this woman they have in mind and why should you look like her? Just like all women Trans girls come in all sorts of shapes, forms and sizes, we’re all still pink on the inside!

As the column progress’ I will hopefully cut the dribble out. I hope this column grows as you and I also grow too. As time goes on the more real and powerful words will become so thank you so far for following me and giving me your support.

Also don’t forgot to follow me and my vblogs at www.youtube.com/lita212

Until next time

lots ‘o’ love from
The Girl in the pink dress

Make sure you check out my next column update on April 1st 2011 (You’ll be a fool to miss it!) only at www.gaywakefield.com

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